The Owl Challenge

First off-I would like you all to know that I am typing this post with a non-functional "n" or "b" key. "But, April," you say, "we see n's &  b's all over the freakin' place!" Yeah, I have to go and find those in another post and cut and paste them. How does one manage to lose function of keys? Dump an entire raspberry mocha across your open laptop, that's how. Show's me for trying to squeeze in some afterhours work while waiting for the rest of the knitting gals to get to Borders.

And we're back from the odyssey into April's messy journey of self-discovery to talk about some crafting. This is one of huge draws for me of crafting and baking. Unlike life, the directions are included!

WELL, on Monday a special little boy named Waylon turns 1! I am counting on his mama being too busy to check in here to see what I'm up to.

So, a few glasses into my bottle of wine Thursday night I decided to knit Mr. Waylon up an owl to go along with his woodland themed birthday party, which is Monday. I stepped out of my cheaphood and bought the Bramble Owl Softie pattern after crusising around Ravelry for a bit and not being satisfied with any of the free patterns. And yarn hoarder that I am I had some wool upstairs that seemed just right. The Owl Challenge began with just a few days to complete a project in time for the birthday party.

Ready to rock.
The yarn snop in me is a bit horrified with this pic.

Finally the effects of the wine started to be a bit more apparent and it was time for bed. Thursday night knitting came to a close.

Friday was a vacation day for me, so I began again bright and early. Coffee got me much further than wine and I really didn't want to put that laundry away anyway. By the time I had to stop to head down to Bent River for a beer with my friend (yes, I do drink too much. don't judge. it was my 5th anniversary and the current state of things led me to opt to not actually spend it with my husband.)

Fraken-Owl

The beer was delicious (I mean how could cold-brewed Starbucks coffee with oatmeal stout not be?). If you're ever in the Quad Cities I recommend you give it a try. Anyway. This morning armed with coffee and a homemade pop tart I took on the rest of the wings and a massive amount of seaming.

Ready for some Waylon loves!

Ta-da! All done. And with two days to spare. Maybe I'll have some time to put away that laundry after all. Grr.

Ravelry Project Page

Knitting Playlist:
    A Fine Frenzy, Bomb in a Birdcage
    Adele, 19
    Dido, Life for Rent & no Angel
    Lady Antebellum, Need You Now
    Sugarland, Love on the Inside
    Casting Crowns, Lifesong

Breaking Through

Yes, I'm still on a self-discovery bend. I just have a couple of things I want to share with you all before I head down to have some wine with friends. This may be a bit of an out there post, but at least it will be short and sweet.

I was sitting in a "knowledge camp" learning about chaodic theory today. It was pretty amazing, there was a thunderstorm moving through. We were under a pavilion type thing, but the thunder rolled over our heads and it was pouring. I was looking at these ferns under a tree and as I watched that little fern in the middle there being struck by occasional raindrops it really hit me. I know this sounds weird, but you can exit the page anytime. It hit me how this rain drop fell miles and had this effect on this little fern. The fern was being effected by this rain drop from so far away. How often do my actions effect someone I can't even see? It really made me think of the work I do and reminded me to be more cognizant of the effect my actions and the systems change work I do can have.

I was sitting and doing a "presencing" exercise based on Theory U. It was a very meaningful exercise since I've (obviously) been very much in a place of self-discovery and really a quarter life crisis of sorts. I saw this little delicate greenery poking through the concrete and it really hit. I realize I'm not the first person ever to find meaning in this scene, but it really served as a reminder of how the precious and delicate in life can poke through the walls and the pain he have around us. Thank you, God!

Okay, time for wine. Tomorrow I am hoping to show you some AMAZING pictures of the cathedral the retreat center I am at is built around, but I PROMISE I will be back to some baking and crafting talk for you. Here is what you have coming up:

I finished an apron for my cousin's wedding shower along with some matching hot pads.
I have a great new recipe for CHOCOLATE & CHEESECAKE COVERED STRAWBERRIES. I know. And you might need to indulge after being subjected to my rants this week.

Loves!

Contemplating Life

Here is your serious life post warning. No yarn, fabric, or baked goods here for tonight. You have been warned.

Sorry I've been a bit MIA. I went into hiding at my parent's after a week with far too many head to desk moments. Now I am at a retreat. The Art of Hosting Retreat to be more specific. And it is at the amazing Chiara Center in Springfield, IL.  I am at a very contemplative place that has been building for some time now. I should have seen the red flags that God has really been working to do with things with me here. But, as usual, my head was too wrapped around trying to survive the day without giving myself a concussion on the desk.

I could end the post here.

But I won't. Even though it's tempting. I realize you come here to read about what baking, knitting, and sewing. But I feel this urge to process here tonight, so push that red X button in the corner if you aren't up to some April self-exploration.

This  plaque above is in the hallway of the retreat center we are at and it really captured for me a piece of this journey.

The good news is that I am really coming into realization of this passion God has put in my heart for what He put me here for. The bad news is that it challenges many of the ways I thought life was going to look like for me. The hard part is that it shouldn't necessarily cause the chaos it does, but it does.

I have been working in a leadership coaching program and one of the things my coach and I have really worked on is articulating my values. This has been a valuable process for me. I used to be planner. Then I was drug through hell and back at the whims of a plan that wasn't my own. Now the idea of living my life based on my values really reasonates with me. I find a sense of peace in knowing that while I may change as I am living out a plan or God may throw opportunities my way while I'm living out a plan I thought was mine, if I live my life based on values and make my decisions based on these values I shouldn't get back to this place I've been in of total disorientation. Nothing like waking up at the tender age of 28 and realizing that you have no idea who the hell's life you're living, but it just doesn't resonate with you. I have felt this fluttering inside of me for some time. This longing to be a part of something bigger than me. And I think I've found that something. I have this amazing passion for working in communities to bring them together and help them to realize the shared future we all have and that change is really within us. Within us as people, within us as a community. We share this place in time. I feel such a sense of truth as I show the love of God in this way.

 But what do I do with that now? What do I do when it raises more questions for me? What do I do when I'm faced with living life as I feel a passion for, living life in a way that looks at the world around me and says, "I know that this could be different and I want to be a part of the change", but living life this way means maybe leaving behind what I've known? What do I do when I feel this passion so deep in my bones that I don't understand how it could from anywhere but God, but jumping means letting go of other things that seem like they SHOULD be of God? I have so much conflict inside of myself right now. My coach tells me that she is excited for me. That I am at the place where I am becoming who I was made to be. But what do I with the shambles of who I was?

Please pray for me. I mean that literally. Please pray that God will shine through the overgrowth in my life and light HIS path. That He will bring me peace and reconcile the passion He has placed in me and the shackles of responsibility that hold me back. Please pray the fear that whispers will be less than the passion that makes me feel alive. Please pray I will be brave and embrace my calling. Even if I don't know the details of The Plan.

I found this prayer room here tonight. You can find me back there.

An Old Friend and a Nantucket Check-in

Before I became a serious crafter about three and a half years ago, I was an avid reader. I was that kid who would be out for supper with my family and I would have the latest copy of some R.L. Stine book, or in my younger years the new adventure of the The Boxcar Children. When I was in second grade or so my parents "punished" me by taking away my library privileges. I was the only kid in my small town with a post-it note on my library card saying that I had to have a permission slip from my parents to check out books. When I entered third grade we moved out to the country. I wasn't old enough to ride my bike in town, so I would borrow my mom's collection. The only smut novel I have is this one that was my mom's. "Wicked Wyoming Nights" by Leigh Greenwood. I loved reading about Eliza the frontier school teacher and her rugged cattleman, Cord Stedman. I didn't really understand what a throbbing member or white quivering thighs meant, but it was what I had access to. (My mom will be so mortifed if she ever reads this post!) I took the book with me when I left for college and I still have it because it makes me smile!

Anyway, I made a stop at the library on my way home from work today. I am getting ready to make the hour and a half trek to my parent's in the morning. I have had a rough week and to break myself out of the staring at the wall for hours funk I am in I made the decision to surprise my parents by coming home a day early after I talked to both Mom and Dad this week and they both made a point of saying how much they are looking forward to me coming home. After continuously feeling like everywhere I turn I am doing something wrong, it is nice to know I can go hide on their couch a couple of days. And when you stare at the wall there at least Mom offers you wine.

Back to my point. I picked up a book today because it seemed like it would be nice to escape to someone else's story for a bit. I usually have a research book or best practices report I am picking through in my purse, but my true love is novels. I am one of those people that when I read a novel. the rest of the world disappears. I love getting lost in the story. My favorite is to sit in the chair for hours and getting totally immersed in the lives of the characters. I always seem to forget how happy and calm this makes me and every time I fall back into a novel I always wonder how it is I forget. Some of my favorite memories from my marriage are the Saturdays my husband and I would sit and read. He would be in the chair smoking his pipe and reading something like Charles Dickens' "Pickwick Papers" and I would have a good novel or a religion book and we would stop from time to time to share with the other something interesting or amusing we had read. I realize it's not exactly the stuff movies are made of, but I was happy.

Reading makes me happy.  (Have I mentioned that?) And I took this Friday off. Can you guess what I plan to do? True, I probaly made a bad call in picking out a love story. But "Time Traveler's Wife", we gots a date. And it already got a laugh out of me with the line "I now have an erection that is probaly tall enough to ride some of the scarier rides at Great America without a parent." Yep, I'm that kind of girl. Blame Wicked Wyoming Nights.

AND, I plan to do some knitting. I've even made some progress on my Nantucket Yellow sweater. It's sad when I cast on for a sweater for a project I can see some progress with. I really need to take a break from fingering weight yarn.

Making it up the back row by row.

Close up of the lace panel.

Why what is that hangy thing you ask? A fancy stitch marker? ACTUALLY, it's a row counter. I didn't want to have to deal with keeping track of the rows in my lace panel, so I put this together. The rings with the beads are right-side rows. I remember that row one I do a knit 2 together and that in row three I do a yarn over after the stitch marker by the fact they are alphabetical. :) Yep, I'm a nerd.

Row counter.

Oatmeal Cran-Raisin Cookies of Amazingness

I've been meaning to make my grandma some cookies for awhile. She has a sweet tooth, but cannot eat chocolate. And it is tragic. She does, however, like oatmeal raisin cookies and apparently can polish off a box pretty fast for a little lady. I decided awhile back Grandma needs some homemade love in her freezer than she can bake off lickity split. In all honesty, though, I am not a big oatmeal raisin cookie fan. I'll eat it, but nothing I'll run to make. This blog post is a conversion story.

Rewind us to a couple of weeks ago. It was knit night at Borders and my friend got an oatmeal cran-raisin cookie. I have been disappointed time and again over the baked goods here, so I was cynical. But it looked tasty (still cynical though, they always look tasty.) But IT WAS TASTY.

So this weekend I got out my Grand Central Baking Book and make a few adaptations to their Oatmeal Raisin Cookie recipe.

So, we took some of this. (But not only this of course.)

(That's homemade vanilla extract in the bottom right.)

Did some sifting and mixing.

Half I just scooped on a pan and put in the freezer as little dough balls. I will give these to Grandma when I go home this weekend and she can bake them a few at a time as the hankering comes. The rest I flattened to about half an inch and baked.

And they were amazing. They rocked my world and changed it forever. I KNOW. I've said this before. But I mean it. I will never look at oatmeal or raisins or golden raisins or dried cranberries the same way again. They will always have a special place in my heart from this day forward.

Baking Playlist: Lenka

What a Biscuit!

So I started this entry with a story from my family about how the word biscuit was used in a little different of a context and will forever be changed for me (nothing icky, no worries), but it sounded very white trashy and you kind of had to be there, so I pushed delete and decided we will just move straight to the biscuits discussion. But I'll leave the entry title as a tribute to my slightly, umm, quirky family.

For the last few months I've been participating in a bake-a-long in the Let's Cook group on Ravelry. This week's theme is biscuits. It has been pretty constantly cold and rainy here in the Quad Cities for the last few days, so it was a great soup time. I have had this recipe for knock off Red Lobster (yep, I'm trying to push my husband to his limit!)  Cheddar Bay Biscuits floating around my kitchen and it was unearted during the great recipe reorganizing that took place this weekend.  So this recipe was the winner for this week's bake-a-long go!

I have to admit, I totally felt a bit of shame and like I was cheating with this recipe. It is basically Bisquick with water and sharp cheddar cheese. The action kind of takes place in the buttery goodness you slap on the top. I really need to look and see if I can find a "from scratch" alternative for Bisquick one of these days. It also needed more cheese in my opinion, so here it is in quick Bisquicky glory with my alternations! (Okay, so this was bugging me, so I searched and came back to add this link to make homemade Bisquick. However, since I haven't tried this and can't attest for it, I'm leaving the recipe with Bisquick and linking until I can test this further!)

Cheddar Bay Biscuits, adapted from keyingredient.

Ingredients:

2 C. Bisquick
1/2 c. cold water

1 c. grated sharp cheddar cheese

1 t. parsley flakes

1/2 t. garlic powder

1/2 t. Italian seasoning

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix together Bisquick, cold water, and sharp cheddar cheese.

Roll out biscuits on a floured surface. Biscuits should be about 3/4 inch thick (original recipe calls for 1 in, but 3/4 in made some pretty heafty biscuits as it was!). Cut biscuits with a medium sized cutter and place onto an ungreased baking sheet.

Melt butter and seasonings together. Brush biscuits with the butter mix (do the side as well for good measure, you should have plenty of buttery goodness to go around. I didn't do this, but wish I would have!).  Bake for 8-10 minutes.

And they were pretty scrumptious with my minestrone!

Oh! And I learned something fun from some fellow Rav bakers this week! I was trying to figure out a way to be able to (somewhat easily) calculate nutritional information for my baked good and other homemade treats/meals. NutritionData was suggested. I am going to give it a try! (I'll try to post some of the nutrition data with the recipes I share when I get the hang of the website.) Nothing like using modern technology yet again to embrace an older way of doing things! Yeah for the interwebs!!

An Excellent Start

Okay, so I didn't plan to post today. But...I had to share with you how I started out my day!

It was all very sad. The post office was holding 17 skeins of yarn hostage. I know. This is the stuff drama is made of.

But I got it today.

And now I have a yarn pile.

Yep. I dumped it all onto the floor of my office. While I ate a homemade pop tart. It was pretty amazing all around.

In all it's yarny glory.

City Tweed DK

CotLin

What am I making? Thanks for asking.

The City Tweed DK will be a Nantucket Red [Yellow] sweater.

The CotLin will be a Dollar and a Half Cardigan.

Just PLEASE don't tell  my LYS I got a box of yarn from Knit Picks! Pretty please? It's better if they don't know things like this!

Another One Bites the Dust

Here it is, that time of the weekend that the imminent arrival of the work week looms and it is truly unavoidable. How am I spending it? At the moment taking a break from some handstitching on an apron for my cousin's wedding shower and listening to Prince's Pussy Control. It makes me smile. Love me for who I am. :) I promise it's on a compilation CD. (REALLY!) However, I recommend you be very careful doing a search on it. It ain't pretty. And of course I wasn't thinking and did it from my work computer. Hmm. But I diverge.

So how was your weekend? Mine was pretty laid back. I needed this weekend. At 4:55pm on Friday I was stuck in construction traffic somewhere in a random Chicago suburb and getting emails from a board member who wasn't happy with me. (My husband wasn't sure why I was checking my email while stuck in city traffic, but it's not like I was moving!) While I love my job most of the time, I was in TGIF mode at that point!

The husband and I spent some quality time at his place on Friday. After I found my way out of Chicagoland that is. Pizza+Movies+Beer=Friday Night. He somehow convinced me to stay up until four in the freaking morning. So that led to sleeping until one in the afternoon Saturday, squandering away my precious Saturday time. But guess what I did when I got home?

I

Made

THESE

homemade

POP TARTS!

They were pretty amazing. I made them with, wait for it, Nutella. I have been living under this rock where Nutella hasn't pushed through. I have internet access under this rock and I have heard the raves about Nutella, but NEVER HAD IT! I know. I hang my head in shame. However, do you people realize there are 200 calories per tablespoon of Nutella?? This brought my pop tarts to like 500 calories a pop. Seriously. But we're not going to talk about that.

I also made some with strawberry preserves. Which were also pretty freaking amazing. And the true shocker---despite his moral objections the husband tried a Nutella one and admitted (begrudgingly) to liking it. A little piece of hell froze over and my pop tarts caused it!

A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Opps, fugitive Nutella!

Ready to rock.

Mmm. Can't you feel yourself expanding just looking at these?

I did an egg wash on mine so that they would be nice and brown. I had multiple people tell me that a pop tart is not a pop tart if it doesn't have the crunchy glaze/frosting. I had every intention of putting some on. However, they were plenty sweet without it. And did I mention we were already at 500 calories? However, if I did put it on, I would melt some chocolate chips to put with the frosting for the Nutella ones.

What else did my uber-exciting weekend hold in store for me?

I attempted to organize the massive amount of printouts of recipes I want to try that threaten to overtake my kitchen. It wasn't pretty.

The phrase "looks like a tornado went through here" fit?

I got some work done on my cousin's wedding shower apron! I am a firm believer every new bride needs an apron. Call me old fashioned, but I call it simply style.

Progress. I gots it.

And I did some hand stitching. I know. Between that and the husband liking a homemade treat that you can buy chock full of preservatives in the store this may just be the end of it all. Live it up and be sure to tell your mom you love her!

Brr...anyone else feel that cold draft?

And...I made a mini pie. It actually just came out of the oven. But there will be a whole post on mini cheater deserts sometime soon! (This blog lives on the edge, we all know you're here for the thrills.)

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Even though my apartment is covered in fabric scraps and flour. Happy work week! (You can do it. I promise.)

Pop Tart Playlist:
    Sugarland, Love on the Inside
    A Fine Frenzy, Bomb in a Birdcage

Sewing Playlist:
   Susie Suh
   Fiona Apple, Tidal

Mother's Day Package is in the Mail!

  

You get a sneak peak at what's in the package that is in it's way RIGHT now to my mom. Well, this plus a little card with stamped declaration of love for mom and a pic. After hearing me gush about it and reading my copy, Mom really wanted a copy of The Grand Central Baking Book as well. She has also been talking about wanting another apron that is just a tie around the waist type.

Luckily, I have an obscene amount of apron patterns....

And the winner is.......Butterick See & Sew B5125!!

I was really pretty bummed because I was psyched to make it out of this amazingly kick ass Mom tattoo fabric, but apparently I wasn't the only one to think this was a brillant idea, because when I went to get some last weekend, they were out and it was too late to order it from online.  So, since Mom loves green, green it was.

Wasn't totally sure if two thread colors was a great idea,

but I really liked the vintage-y look of the contrast stitching.

The pattern just has you turn the edges under once, but I did it
double so it wouldn't fray. Which took for freaking ever.

All done!

And it got all done in time. Despite the assistance of my faithful shadow.

Checking it out.                                       Sitting where I need to cut.                       Nap time! What pattern piece?

And speaking of aprons....I made this one for my friend to celebrate her new bakeshop a few weeks ago. Gotta have a place for that cold hard cash!

Sewing Playlist: 

    Ingrid Michaelson, Be OK

    Sugarland, Enjoy the Ride

    Dido, Life for Rent

    Alanis Morissette, Flavors of Entanglement

    Flyleaf

This Little Girly Went to the Market

I promised a pie post, so here it is. Delivered. So this weekend I made my first trip to the farmer's market. I know. I live in the Midwest and I have NEVER been to a farmer's market. Don't worry, I'm ashamed. A good friend of mine opened a little area down there with her little New York Italian grandma baked goods, so I went and had me a visit. And I was kind of hoping to find some rhubarb since the word on the street is that it's out and ready to make deliciousness. Now, I am not typically a huge rhubarb fan, but I've been seeing some recipes I want to try.

So I found some. And I did. And it was fantastic.

"What did I make?"you ask?

Awhile back on Ravelry I was whining for about a month in the Knit 'N Bake group about really wanting to get The Grand Central Baking Book. I would actually go and "visit" it on Amazon every other day or so. Then I finally broke down and bought it. I anxiously checked the mailbox every day. When it came I read it cover to cover like a novel. I learned so much from that book! Then it sat for awhile and I didnt' even make anything from it. Sad, I know.

Until this weekend.

So, I got the rhubarb at the market and strawberries were on sale at the store. It was fate.

I recommend the pie crust recipe in The Grand Central Baking Book. I probaly won't have it as a this or nothing type of recipe because there is some pre-planning involved, which I don't excel at. But since I made this over the weekend it worked. And now I am actually eating this pie for breakfast as I type this post, two days after I made it, and the crust has really held up well.

 I had intended to tease you with the recipe for the filling, but I forgot the cookbook at home. Maybe I'll come back and add it later...

This was actually my first attempt at a double crust. I had meant to do a lattice top, but I had to come in to work (on Sunday) and was kept later than I expected, so I went with some little designs cut in.

So, this pie means it's time for warm weather! (Yep, I was just looking for an excuse.)

Pie Making Soundtrack: Love on The Inside, Sugarland

Fail Us Not

I had intended to post today about fruit crisp or the sewing I did this weekend. Maybe about the pie I'm making this afternoon. But those posts will be coming later this week. I have other things on my mind for today. :)

I have always turned to worship music during the times I am struggling and I need to hear God. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy worship music during other times as well. Used to be all I listened to and it is still playing in the background more often than not. But during those times I am really seeking God, it seems to be my portal. I have never been a good quiet prayer type gal. Way too overactive of a brain for that. And I always seem to doubt if I am really hearing God's voice or if I am just thinking what I want and attributing it to God because I want it. But He speaks volumes to me through worship. When I first graduated college and I wasn't sure what it was He wanted from me I can remember night after night of putting on headphones and just being curled up on the floor crying out to Him as I sang along. During times I have really struggled with depression, this is what has gotten me through. And there always seems to be a song that He really uses to speak to me again and again. A song that brings me back to the word He has for me.

Fail Us Not (1000 Generations) is that song for this season of my life. This song reaches to me in the midst of my doubt, in the darkness of my struggles and shame, in my hiding my face from God. This song reminds of God's love for me. Of the fact He.Is.God. For real. And there is nothing that He can't do and nothing that is too big for Him. He is here for me. No, he is here beside me. There are times I get so drug down by the idea "I cannot do this. This is too big for me. I hurt too much. My mistakes cannot possibly make God still want me or want to use me." But then this song finds me.

I have really been struggling with doing what I feel God wants me to be doing lately. Everyone seems to think I should be doing one thing, but I just have this conviction that God wants to show me and others what He can do with a life that trusts Him. Even when it doesn't make sense. Even when the pain is crushing and I could run from it. He tells me if I trust in Him, he will not fail me. This song really says it better than I can say it. I hope it speaks to you as much as it has to me.

Fail Us Not

Failure doesn't faze you.

Worry doesn't win.
Lost doesn't leave you afraid to start again.
Our sin doesn't shock you.
Our shame doesn't shame you at all.

Mistakes do not move you.
Terror doesn't tame.
Death doesn't doom you to life in the grave.
Our suffering doesn't scare you.
Our secrets won't surprise you at all.
At all.

There is nothing above you.
There is nothing beyond you.
There is nothing that you can't do.


Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No matter the war, our hope is secure.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
You fail us not.

Hatred doesn't hide you.
Evil doesn't ail.
Despair can't disguise you and tell you that you fail.
Our doubt doesn't daunt you.
Our darkness won't defeat you at all.
At all.

There is nothing above you.
There is nothing beyond you.
There is nothing that you can't do.

Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No matter the war, our hope is secure.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No, You fail us not.
You fail us not.

You're bigger than the battle.
You are bigger than the battle.
You are bigger than the battle has ever been.
Ever been.

Whatever will come, we'll rise above.

You fail us not, You fail us not.
No, You fail us not.

You fail us not.
No matter the war. Our hope is secure.
You fail us not.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not.
No, you fail us not.



1000 Generations - Fail Us Not
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