A Red Velvet Valentine

I'll jump on the bandwagon-Happy Valentine's Day!

I feel it's within my full rights to be an obnoxious pro-Valentiner this year. The last three years of Valentine's have kind of sucked. Well, last year was kind of fun making supper with my friends, drinking too much wine, and watching "The Hangover" and "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". And smoking far too many cigarettes. But I haven't done the cigarettes part since September. Really.

And what says Valentine's better than Red Velvet Cupcakes*? (Well, besides chocolate, diamonds, and flowers.)

Because if a recipe calls for 2 ounces of red food coloring, it must convey something, right? If nothing else, it matched the box. It's all about coordination, people.  (The red food coloring need may have led me to explore the world of paste coloring and may have led me to send a text to my friend along the lines of "They're all f*ing pots" after I had a meltdown in Michael's trying to figure out the difference between food color paste and food color gel, and she told me to get the pot.)

And with these ADORABLE Wilton boxes, they are oh so giftable. And what boy doesn't love cupcakes**?

*I used the recipe from bestcupcakerecipes.blogspot.com for Red Velvet Cupcakes. Unfortunately, I have no idea how these taste. A) All of the cupcakes were spoken for. That's all I'll say on that. B) One cupcake has the amount of fat I'm allowed for a WHOLE meal.

**Any boy(s) who do(es) not love cupcakes should probably NOT be in a position to be receiving Valentine's boxes from me anyway.

Hello, Love

After over two years of diligently searching I've finally found the perfect...

...blueberry muffin.

I mean, check out the batter alone.

What's not to love. Now I realize that blueberry muffins are totally a matter of preference. Like that whole wheat recipe I tried. Blah! I think I only put the leftover batter in the freezer due to the price of blueberries.

But this recipe. It could totally be my life partner and I would gladly have it's babies and bring it coffee or beer or slippers or whatever blueberry muffin husbands desire. I mean, to quote King Arthur Flour "They're a good example of "cake-like" muffins, containing high amounts of both sugar and fat." How could you not fall in love after a sentence like that? If they were on match.com, that would totally be my ideal tagline. (Yes, at 13g of fat ONE muffin pretty much fills up my limit of fat grams in a meal under the Alli plan.) It feels so gratifying to find my blueberry muffin true love. I love the fluffy rich muffins our local grocery strore chain makes. I tolerated many eyerolls from the ex when I would bemoan how my muffins did not taste like theirs and get the inevitable "Than go BUY them from there!". He did not get me.

Well, there were a couple of modifications I'll do next time. I guess my love isn't totally blind. I would use a more stuesely top and I believe I will add an additional 1/4 c of sugar. I like my love sweet.

Will I share my path to true love? Of course.

The Perfect Blueberry Muffins (aka "Fancy Department Store Muffins")
Slightly adapted from King Arthur Flour 

2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups fresh blueberries
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) butter or margarine
1 cup sugar (or add 1/4c if you want to be like me)
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup milk

STREUSEL:
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup cold butter

Preheat oven to 375°F.

Combine flour, baking powder, salt, berries and nuts. In a large mixing bowl, cream butter or margarine with sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla, and beat well.

Blend dry ingredients into wet alternately with milk.

Because these muffins will rise up and over the edge of your muffin tin, you'll want to grease the top of the pan as well as the cups. Fill the cups almost full, and sprinkle with the streusel topping.

Bake muffins 25 to 30 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove muffins from oven and cool completely on a wire rack. (Although I can tell you that if you can wait long enough for the blueberries to cool enough to not scorch your mouth, they rock after about 10 minutes out.)

Nutrional information per serving (1 muffin, 106 g): 307 cal, 13 g fat,  21 g complex carbohydrates

King Arthur Flour suggests the following:

These muffins are wonderful made with tiny fresh blueberries, chopped, toasted almonds, and almond extract substituted for the vanilla extract.



I think that sounds like a fantastic idea, King Arthur Flour. Thank you.

I shared mine with the neighbors. Mainly due to that pesky high fat content. But feel free to lock your doors and hoard these lovelies. I won't judge you. Promise.

Bella Mittens

Don't you love when it takes you a day and a half to finish one mitten? And then four months to finish the other? There is a long list in no particular order of the why. But let's be honest. They're pretty much the excuses of an easily distracted knitter.

But my Bella Mittens. Are. Done.

Don't be confused, thesea aren't the knits of a Twilight groupie with like, Edward Cullen sheets, who has a picture of the half naked jail bait Jacob hanging above her bed who lays there hoping the tape will give. While I will admit to watching (and liking, yes liking) the movies, I was never able to get into the whole angst whiney Bella in the books. And I largely rebelled against the hype. AND, while I know I've made some bad men decisions in my life, I mean seriously. While both are justifiably hot, a girl whose only love interests have been a vampire and a werewolf really needs to sit down and half a long think about what she is looking for in a man. But I don't judge you for your love of Twilight. We all have our weaknesses. I mean seriously, me and butter? I miss butter.

Anyway, about these mittens. I just really loved the pattern. And I'm loving this yarn, even if the yarn snob in me is sulking over the increased use of Lion Brand. She'll get over it.

Project: Bella's Mittens by subliminalrabbit (Rav Link)
Yarn: Lion Brand Alpine Wool  Cinnamon, 2 skeins
Needles: US8
Ravelry Project Page

A not so secret Twilight-like weakness of mine is roving yarn. Okay, the merchandising hype isn't as big, but it ranks high for me. And I love the cushiness (totally a word) of these mittens.

I did make some modifications. Very minor. I have these freakishly long fingers, so in the decrease section I added a row before each of the cables, total of  two extra rows. (I apparently use the word "totally" far too much for anyone living outside of the 80's since I orginally typed "totally of two extra rows" and failied to even notice it at first.) Perfect. The joys of being a knitter for me include having mittens and gloves that fit. And of course, the massive sex appeal it gives me.

I liked how the palms of these were done versus some others I saw on Ravelry. I thought I'd be able to link to a couple, but there are a number if you just search "Bella Mittens". These have a 1x1 rib on the inside and then switch to stockinette when you get up to the palm section and I think it gives it a nice clean look.

So I guess now I'm ready for my own vampire to arrive? Okay, so I think Jacob is hotter.

Insanity is...

...doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

As a counselor I told my clients this. As a patient my *cough*therapist*cough* can almost tell me this (repeatedly) without a knowing smirk. Almost.

So I guess I should just suck it up and admit insanity.

While anyone who has known me for more than a day may be jumping up and down right now with eager examples of how this sort of insanity manifests itself in my life, let's stick to the knitting today, kids.

Last night I cast on for another shawl that (almost) never ends. 570 fingering weight yards of garter stitch on size 3 needles. But I love my last 22.5 Degrees shawl. Even if it did make me want to stab myself in the eye, I wear the hell out of that thing.

And look at this Noro Silk Garden Sock...

...can't you hear it whispering "C'mon April. I will make a rockstar gorgeous shawl and you'll love my stripes in garter stitch." It must be true. Because hearing your yarn whisper to you would have nothing to do with the aforementioned insanity.

But really. If I'm expecting it to drive me insane but end in a shawl I love to pieces, I'm not really expecting different results, right? So that means I don't fit the insanity definition, right? I'm sure that's it.

The Copy Hat

This is the story of a cheap girl who saw a hat pattern and being an overly confident knitter said she wasn't going to spend the money on a ribbed hat pattern and tried to deconstruct the hat. And failed. Really, just buy the pattern.

Project Name: The Copy Hat

Yarn: Malabrigo Worsted, Black

Needles: US7 & US9

Rav Project Page

I cast on 92 for this hat. Which was pretty much a shot in the dark, but seems about right! Working the 2x2 ribbing to six inches on the smaller needles (US7) and then switching to larger (US9) to work in stockinette stitch to ten inches.

At ten inches I began decreases by k2tog one round, knit one round, and repeating until I got to the number of stitches that seemed like a good idea to thread the yarn through. A number of stitches I’m not remembering.

Things I did wrong. Hmm, where to start?

* I did the ribbing too far I think. It seems 5 inches would have been adequate.
* I should have maybe increased a few stitches when I switched needle size and went to stockinette. It doesn't have that droopy.
* I think I should have knit at least another half an inch before starting to decrease.
* I also should have did one more decrease round. It has this funny outie belly button thing going on.
*And I should have bought.the.damn.pattern!

And what the hell is going on in this pic?

Something about this hat made me feel like a baller. So that was me doing my best baller wink. Instead I look like a bloated constipated pirate. Argh!

The Post That Isn't What It Was Supposed to Be

At the start of the weekend I was wondering how I would decide what to tell you about today. The weekend was full of possibility!

 I had:

* A hat almost done
* Confidence with an overnight volunteer shift at the shelter I would totally finish my Bella Mittens
* Some fun new scrappy mittens I was ready to rock
* All of these ideas for the Buzz Lightyear quilt I was going to start for my nephew on Saturday

Instead:

*While I did finish my hat, my camera died this morning while I was trying to take some pictures for a post. It really is hard to blog without a camera.
* I was distracted by the scrappy mittens, didn't finish the Bella Mittens. Or the scrappy mittens. So I still have cold fingertips since I refuse to wear mittens that don't match the coat/down vest I have on.
* I got as far as drawing out the quilt layout for my nephew's Buzz Lightyear quilt, but didn't even enter the sewing room this weekend except to put the bag of fabric back..
* I started a book (The Case for a Creator if you are just so anxious to know. Which I know you know you totally are.)
* I went out for beers with a boy. But I left the couch of a friend I was knitting with to do this, which I'm not proud of.
* My kitchen got the start of a very needed scrub down. So there was some responsible productivity.

So, this post isn't what it was supposed to be.

Updates....

A few random things.

1) I dug something out of my naughty basket and finished it! I cast on for these slippers a year and a half ago while camping with the fam, than never finished them. It was pretty pathetic. I just really hated the attached i-cord. So I left it off!

Project: Mary Jane Slippers by The Purl Bee
Yarn:  Schoeller+Stahl Big Print (7941) & Moda Dea Washable Wool (Black)
Needles: US10
Ravelry Project Page

I used the Moda Bea on for the soles and strap since I didn't have enough of the super fun retro looking Big Print. Altered to fit a size 10. Added 2 sts to the CO and kept stitch count 2 extra. I also added an extra 3/4 in to the length. Since I didn't do the i-cord they are a bit droopy, but I still like.

2) When Mom visited a couple of weeks ago she decided since I lost 25 lbs of my 40 lb goal I needed new underwear & bras (which I won't show you, no worries) and new mineral makeup and more complicated eye makeup. Since to look more natual I apparently need more makeup and brushes and stuff, I outgrew the little makeup bag I've used.

But I'm a sewer, so you can guess what I did.

New makeup bag and brush burrito! I modeled the brush burrito after a needle roll and sewed on some clasps to close it instead of a tie. While I've been sewing for five years, I have an irrational fear of zippers, but I did it! Both have a layer of batting and the bag is quilted.

3) I signed up for match.com. So freaked out. Dating scares the crap out of me. Never learned the rules and online is an adventure! The new profile pic, which is better:

or

Or do they both suck. Holy crap, this is awful.