The View from 29

Hello, friends! Today is my birthday!

I start today on my last year as a 20-something. (Making me 29 for those who haven't had their coffee.) 28 was an interesting year for me. But looking back I'm happy to say I'm a much healthier person. I started this blog just a few weeks before my 28th birthday. So how is the view different at 29?

Well, I'm happy to say I'm doing emotionally better.

I was a bit of a mess over the last few years. The year of this blog really only caught some snippets of the tail end of it. I finally made the move to end a very unhealthy relationship this year and pick up the pieces of my life. It was hard to let go, but looking back at the chaos my life was, the waiting for the bottom to fall out that became a part of the fabric of who I was, the pain, I know it was for the best. I accepted myself for who I am (corny as that sounds) and learned to smile and laugh again. I've worked through God's love for me a bit and while I still really struggle with this I thank Him daily that He loves me even though I still feel far away. I've learned to embrace the Chaordic.

I'm also taking my physical health much more seriously.

While I'm having a bit of a crazy hair moment in the pic for this year I'm happy to say the 29 year old on the right is 30 lbs lighter than the overweight and unhappy 28 year old on the left. I'm still working on my weight and looking forward to the opportunity to start exercising outside, but I'm proud of the progress. For so long I felt like it just didn't matter. But as I got more healthy emotionally I wanted to feel better about myself physically. I finally felt ready to take care of myself again. I knew I needed to stop hiding behind food and self-loathing and allow myself to love me. And then maybe I could allow someone outside to love me. I know that sounds so damn cliche, but it's true. I didn't lose the weight to find love, I lost the weight to learn what it was like to be taken care of and I needed to do that for myself before I let someone else in.

And, I'm doing better relationally as well.

I've been with someone for a couple of months now and it's really taken me by surprise. I didn't think I'd want to let anyone in again.Ever. I started dating out of boredom more than to find anyone that would actually mean something to me. But he surprised me. I've never known what it's like to just have the walls down. To not constantly hold my breath and wait to clean up a mess I didn't make while my own heart was being broke over and over again. It freaks me out a bit from time to time and I'm still afraid to use a certain "l" word, but the fear hasn't made me put the walls back up, and that in itself is a big jump for me. I'm hopeful for what happens next and it's a great feeling.

AND...since I've been off the last few days...I have finished projects to share! So, more to come...

Hello, 29!

Fettuccine Alfredo-Low Fat Double Take

So, I figured I really should include low fat somewhere in that title so you didn't think I finally gave in to the urge for the aformentioned willlingly belly flop with a super ungraceful dive off the diet wagon. This is really hard to believe it's low-fat. I mean look at this picture, the cheesiness factor alone seems like you should gain a few pounds just from licking the spoon.

And it has bacon. I know. I promise this isn't a bridesmaid dress ploy. You know, where I make you all look bad in your nasty bridesmaid dress so I can shine in comparison to you.

This gave me the diet pick me up I needed to feel like I was indulging, but not.

Rich Fettuccine Alfredo

from Taste of Home-Healthy Cooking

Yield: 6 servings.

Ingredients

8 ounces uncooked whole wheat fettuccine (I used the regular fettuccine noodles)
2 bacon strips, coarsely chopped
1/2 pound sliced fresh mushrooms
1 small onion, chopped
1 small sweet red pepper, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
4 ounces fat-free cream cheese, cubed
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 cups whole milk
3 cups cubed cooked chicken breast
1/3 cup shredded Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

Directions

Cook fettuccine according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large ovenproof skillet, cook bacon over medium heat until crisp. Using a slotted spoon, remove to paper towels to drain. Saute the mushrooms, onion and pepper in drippings until tender. Add the garlic; cook 1 minute longer. Stir in cream cheese until melted.

Combine cornstarch and milk until smooth; stir into skillet. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Add the chicken, Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and salt; cook and stir until cheese is melted.

Drain fettuccine; add to chicken mixture. Heat through. Sprinkle with mozzarella cheese and reserved bacon. Broil 4-6 in. from the heat for 2-3 minutes or until cheese is melted.

Nutrition Facts: 1-1/3 cups equals one serving
417 calories
12 g fat (5 g saturated fat)
38 g carbohydrate



Spicy Shrimp & Peppers with Pasta

So, I finally put some action behind my rants and went on a low-fat diet. Not only a low-fat diet, but a low fat diet with Alli. If you have heard of the "adverse treatment effects" you know this means I have to mean business. If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, there are some things you just don't want to know about. I have lost six pounds in the last three weeks. Which I consider pretty good considering the first week I chose sitting with my knitting drinking wine on the couch and feeling sorry for myself a more worthy activity then exercising and this week I have been traveling pretty much all through.

The thing that always seems to make me willlingly belly flop with a super ungraceful dive off the diet wagon is that I get really bored of the food. And I have an unhealthy relationship with butter. But especially the whole food thing. So I've decided to post some recipes that are worthy when I find them. For Alli they have to be 15g of fat or below and with the calorie limit I chose for myself they need to be under 500 calories.

The first: Spicy Shrimp & Pepper with Pasta.

I really miss the dimension of flavors in "regular" food. This dish helped me snap out of that. It was pretty amazing if I say so myself, so I present to you the first of my low-fat recipe shares.

Spicy Shrimp & Peppers with Pasta

Adapted from Taste of Home-Healthy Cooking

Ingredients

1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms
1 medium sweet yellow or red pepper, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 medium green pepper, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 can (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon salt
6 ounces uncooked linguine
1 pound uncooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined (I used cooked shrimp)
1 tablespoon dried parsley flakes

Directions

In a large nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray, saute the mushrooms, and peppers in oil until tender. Add garlic and pepper flakes; cook 1 minute longer.

Stir in the tomatoes, Italian seasoning and salt. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 12-15 minutes or until vegetables are tender.

Meanwhile, cook linguine according to package directions. Add shrimp to sauce; cook and stir for 5-7 minutes or until shrimp turn pink.

Drain linguine; stir into sauce. Heat through. Sprinkle with parsley.

Yield: 4 servings. (2 cups each)
Nutrition Facts
Calories: 385 calories
Fat: 10 g (1 g saturated fat)
Carbs: 53 g

A Goodbye

Dear Baked Goods, Fried Foods, and Beer (yes, beer),

We have had some good times together. Really, I have enjoyed your company. You are always there when I need to eat my feelings and on those weekends I am bored you always entertain me. I haven't been able to imagine a life worth living without you in it. That is why this is so hard for me. It's time we take a break and I think I need to see some other foods for awhile. I think our relationship has possibly crossed the line and it's just not healthy anymore. We need to work on some boundaries. When we both get to a place we are able to maintain those healthy boundaries maybe we can try things out little by little, but I need my space for awhile. It's not you. Okay, that's a lie. It is you. This hurts me more than it hurts you. I'm going to see how things go with a lower calorie diet for awhile. If we don't make this break now I'm afraid we'll grow to hate each other and some things you just can't take back. Like those pictures of me I just saw on facebook. Those are forever (because they aren't mine and the best I can do is untag.)

It was fun and we had some amazing times together. I wish you the best.

Love always and forever,

April

P.S. Beer, I may try to fit you in. I don't know if I'm ready to say goodbye to you yet.