Chaordic Sweet Spots

I want to tell you my absolute new favorite word. Chaordic. What the hell is that? Chaordic is the sweet spot were the worlds of chaos & order meet. In the world of community organizing this refers to the tension between allowing for the beautiful chaos of allowing the unexpected to happen when you draw community together. You are totally at the will of the group. It's this utterly amazing time & space where anything is possible, energy is high, and the sky is truly the limit. But, as humans, we crave a sense of order. In my world this is a land of agendas, Robert's Rules of Order, boringness, and a place where truth be known creativity and what could be possible gets squashed by rules, "norms", only doing what is comfortable and known, and a lack of risk. So the challenge of the facilitator in a community organizing setting is to find that "chaordic sweet spot". It's that spot where you are open to dreaming. You roll with the energy of the community coming together, but you allow for a sense of order. There is a direction and information is harvested for further understanding.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the chaordic sweet spot of my own life. I spent a long time living what I thought was the beginning of the "American Dream". (What the hell does that even mean?) I really though I had it all planned out. I was truly believing that my life was figured out and "The Plan" was on and living by "The Plan" was all there was to it. But then life gave me a massive bitch slap into next Wednesday. I learned the hard way there was no such thing as "The Plan". At least not in a way I could control it. I very much believe God has a plan for my life. "'I know the plans I have you for you', declares the Lord, 'Plans to give you hope and a future. Not plans to harm you'." Silly, April. I thought I had that plan figured out. After the aforementioned life bitch slap I was sent spinning to the other end of the tangent. No plans. Wake up. Use up almost all my energy reserves to get out of bed. Survive this minute. Now the next 5. Good, girl. No, don't crawl under the desk and cry. You have a conference call. Okay, you can stare out the window. Now go home. Stare at the wall. Opps, now we are going to go through a do whatever the hell I want phase. But let's not think about tomorrow.

But I've learned to truly believe that God lives in the chaordic zone. So, how do I live my life in a way where I embrace the chaos of the amazing opportunities He opens for me, but I balance that with a life that at least plans a bit and has some direction? The gypsy lifestyle is tempting, but the reality is I love my husband and as a part of our reconciliation attempts I've worked to listen to him and value his need for some stability. He is a "Plan" person. But, man, that chaordic sweet spot is one I want to ride. It fills me with such a sense of anticipation to really ask God

"What are you going to do with me if I can just find a way to be open to the opportunities you present to me as I grow further into the plan YOU have set for me?"

"How do I not let my order override Your chaos?"

"How do I know the path to take in reconciling your community?"

"What do you want from me in my walk and how do I serve YOU?"

"How do I balance all of this?"

I wish you all luck in embracing the chaos He has for you and finding the balance with the order that keeps us grounded.